Left foot, right foot.

One day at a time. I hate that phrase sometimes because it seems so generic and “unsympathetic”, but ya know what? It really is true. The Hus and I took today and tomorrow off. It’s been needed. Two doctor’s appointment tomorrow, so my list of questions is ready to go. We did manage to leave the house today and that felt good. I just hated hearing Phil say that we needed to just get back to our routines. I know he’s right, but then that means we go back to square one where we are playing the waiting game month-to-month again. I can’t count the times I’ve heard, “just try again”, over the last few days. I know that’s true as well, but I’m scared. Scared because once you have an ectopic pregnancy, your chances of having another one is extremely high.  I know, I know…I keep hearing my friend, Rachel’s words: “Don’t accept that! God is bigger!”

I know that mentally, I’m ready to start working out again, but physically, my body just feels weird and beat up. Philco has been taking good care of me though.

He made me pumpkin pancakes for breakfast while I read my devotions.


Bought me some chocolate “therapy”.


And he grilled us steaks while my mom made baked potatoes and sweet corn for dinner. (And she did 2 loads of laundry for us – gotta love those moms!) Sorry, no pic on this one. Too busy talking and eating…

We watched a movie, then I spent some more time being encouraged and remembering to be thankful for what He HAS done for me.


Came across this passage and this is what I’m standing on.


These beautiful flowers from my aunt and uncle are taking up the dining room table, and I hope they stay alive forever.



Lemme back this up to Saturday because I DID manage to make “something pumpkin” over the dreary weekend. Two ingredient pumpkin brownies. You heard me right – 2 ingredients. Can-o-pumpkin and a box (or bag in my case) of brownie mix. VERY good. VERY moist. I just could’ve handled them being a little more pumpkin-y, so next time I’ll add some pumpkin pie spice.



My mom spent all day Saturday with us and all day Sunday with us. Which = lots-o-movies (and HGTV). We did a cheese and cracker tray and a veggie tray. My appetite hasn’t been the greatest lately – everything still tastes different and I eat 2 bites and am either full or I want to throw up – but the veggies and cheese and crackers actually tasted NORMAL! Philco and my mom were just excited to try the Boars Head pepperoni and cheese.




Be THANKFUL for something today! 


3 thoughts on “Left foot, right foot.

  1. Nikki, I read your blog post yesterday but didn’t have time to respond right at that moment. I want you to know I am thinking about you and praying for you. My heart goes out to you and Phil during this time where your hearts have been broken. I can’t say that I know how you are feeling because I haven’t walked the road you have and had no problem getting pregnant with 3 children but I do know a fraction of what you are going through, the loss of a child. After I had Bree I got pregnant again and was 12 weeks along when I miscarried while at home. We were devastated Again, I know its nothing like what you are going through but I want you to know you are both in my thoughts and prayers. I love what you said about how God didn’t cause this but will use it in someway. You are exactly right. God loves his children and doesn’t want them to go though things like this so he would never cause this. Satan wants to do whatever he can to keep us from living in faith and will work his way into anything in our lives where we don’t keep our guard up. God will restore you and will give you the desires of your heart.

    I have a book called Scripture Confessions and I want to share with you one of the confessions about a bad report. I know you said that you were told that you wouldn’t be able to get pregnant and have a child. So this is a confession to say daily; I am not shaken because of a bad report; I choose to believed the Lord’s good report. Bad news doesn’t faze me a bit because I have learned to trust God and believe His Word even in the midst of challenging circumstances. I don’t deny that sickness and diseases exist; I just deny it has a right to exist in my body.

    The word of men doesn’t change the Word of God. I don’t deny what the doctor’s word says; I just deny that it is the final word, because God’s Word supersedes the word of men. I choose to believe God’s report that says Jesus paid for my healing as my substitute on the Cross. His report says the law of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. His report says that healing and health are my right and privilege. God’s Word says that by Jesus’ stripes I was healed, and this is the report I choose to believe. It doesn’t matter what the medical tests say; I am healed. It doesn’t matter what my body says; I am healed. God’s Word says I am healed, and I believe it! That settles the matter!

    Isaiah 55:11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
    Matthew 8:17 That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias the prophet, saying, Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses.
    Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy meditate on these things.

    God designed the woman’s body to carry a child and birth children so in Jesus name you will carry another child and give birth to one! I know it doesn’t replace the child you lost or the hurt you feel now. Just wanted to share with you what was on my heart for you 🙂 Love Brooke


  2. Pingback: 1 year after a loss. | Will Run For Pizza

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